“I felt pretty trapped in the persona that people had of me, and then I changed it completely to fuck with everyone.”
Simply over a 12 months after surprising people along with her gorgeous British Vogue cowl, Billie Eilish has admitted that she really had “no idea” who she was on the time.
Followers had been shocked to see Billie ditch her signature oversize garments and acid-green roots for a “classic Hollywood” look on the magazine front final Might, which concerned a light-weight blonde ‘do and several other designer corsets.
A few months earlier than, the singer had shocked individuals as she debuted her then-new blonde hair in an Instagram put up that reached one million likes in simply six minutes, turning into the quickest ever to take action on the platform.
And Billie went on to rock a number of extra stereotypically female seems to be within the public eye, telling British Vogue on the time: “It’s all about what makes you feel good. If you want to get surgery, go get surgery. If you want to wear a dress that somebody thinks that you look too big wearing, fuck it – if you feel like you look good, you look good.”
Nonetheless, it seems that Billie felt distant from the picture she was portraying on the time, with the singer lately admitting she really “had no idea” who she was within the traditional Hollywood-inspired suits.
Sitting down with NME final Friday, Billie candidly mentioned how she grew sick of the one-dimensional notion individuals had of her and consequently determined to stray removed from her signature saggy garments when she graced the duvet of British Vogue.
“Before [the Vogue cover], I was one kind of person and wore a certain type of clothes and made a certain type of music,” she mentioned.
“That haunted me, as people only thought of me in one dimension and I didn’t like that,” she added.
And Billie went on to disclose that she rocked the pinup-inspired look “to fuck with everyone” on account of her frustration.
“I felt pretty trapped in the persona that people had of me, and then I changed it completely to fuck with everyone,” she mentioned.
“I wanted to have range and to feel desirable, and to feel feminine and masculine — and I wanted to prove that to myself, too,” she added.
Talking additional in regards to the topic in a separate interview with the Times every week prior, the younger star revealed she thought she “tried too hard to be desirable” on the time of the Vogue shoot.
“Being known for the whole start of your career for one thing — she wears baggy clothes and she sings like this — it was driving me mad,” she mentioned.
“Looking back at all of the promo and stuff we did before the album [in 2021], I’m, like, don’t know who that is, but that is not me! I didn’t have any time to think. I just decided who I was. I just became that vibe. And I don’t know if that was necessarily what I really was feeling. I was just grasping on to anything,” she admitted.
“I honestly don’t feel desired, ever. I do have this worry that I felt so undesirable that I may have occasionally tried too hard to be desirable. It makes me sad to think about,” she mentioned.
Billie confronted a wave of criticism when the Vogue shoot first surfaced, with a number of web customers commenting that she was “cringy” and “disingenuous” for merely experimenting with a brand new look and momentarily ditching her signature saggy garments, which followers believed she wore to keep away from being sexualized.
“People hold on to these memories and have an attachment,” she added. “But it’s very dehumanizing.”
Reflecting on all of it with the Instances final week, Billie mentioned that “no matter” how she chooses to fashion herself, there’s at all times criticism. “No matter what you do, it’s wrong and right,” she mentioned. “Wearing baggy clothes, nobody is attracted to me, I feel incredibly unlovable and unsexy and not beautiful, and people shame you for not being feminine enough.”
“Then you wear something more revealing and they’re, like, you’re such a fat cow whore,” she continued. “I’m a slut and I’m a sell-out and I’m just like every other celebrity selling their bodies, and woah! What the fuck do you want? It’s a crazy world for women and women in the public eye.”
“It was supposed to be a specific aesthetic for a photo shoot, and then it was like, ‘Billie Eilish’s new style’ and people kept being like, ‘Wow, her new style, it’s so much better than the old style.’ Or like, ‘Wow, I wish that we could have her old style back, I’m so sad that she’s just changed into this,’” she mentioned.
“It was so weird because I was like, ‘It’s not a new style, it’s one thing I wore and then I’m gonna wear this another day and then I’m gonna do this,’” she mentioned. “Literally the thing that I’ve been preaching about since I first started is to wear what you want.”
“Dress how you want, act how you want, talk how you want, be how you want. That’s all I’ve ever said. It’s just being open to new things and not letting people ruin it for you,” she added.
And on that notice, Billie revealed in her latest NME interview that she now feels “comfortable” sufficient in herself to be as experimental along with her fashion as she chooses.
“Now I finally feel comfortable in the person I actually am and being [multiple] things at once,” she mentioned.